Keyboard and cup of coffee

Being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) is a choice that many women choose to make or are forced to make.  Regardless of how you became a SAHM, there are many challenges that some women never could have anticipated, or perhaps they knew that it could be a challenge but did not anticipate the severity.  One of those challenges is a lack of a social life.

When you go to work every day, you have the opportunity to interact with coworkers, clients, baristas, clerks, etc.  Basically, anyone you see throughout the day presents an opportunity for candid communication.  When you’re a SAHM, specifically when you have younger children, you are restricted in your ability to engage in social interactions.

Why is a social life so hard when you are a SAHM?

There are lots of reasons.

  1. Making friends is really really hard when you’re a mom.
  2. Schedules are insane!
  3. Kids and babies don’t always feel like being social.
  4. It requires a great deal of energy and we are tired.
  5. Limited funds because of only one income.

Enter social media…

Social Media and Making Friends

I am incredibly lucky in that I am raising my kids in the same town that I grew up in.  Why is that lucky you may ask?  Because a good many of the women my age already know my name and face and I know theirs.  That whole “making friends” part is a little easier when you know at least something about a person.

Because I know their names, I can very easily search them on Facebook.  By looking at their profiles, I can determine what their interests are.  If their common interests line up with mine at least a little, I am much more likely to comment on their posts and pictures thus starting a conversation.

Social Media and Scheduling

Ok this is the one that absolutely kills me.  We have two kids.  That’s not an overwhelming number of kids to me.  But do you know how hectic your calendar looks when you have two kids?!  I am now managing the schedules of three (and sometimes 4 when I have to take care of things for my husband) people!  Check ups, dental appointments, orthodontist appointments, dance schedules, softball practices, school events, birthday parties, car maintenance schedules, etc. etc. etc.  The list goes on and on and on!  Not to mention that my youngest is only awake for two and a half hours between her naps!  Like…how the hell am I supposed to get all of the errands run and meet up with a friend with two and a half hours?!

Now…all of the other SAHM’s are handling schedules that look just like mine.  There might be one day a month where our schedules magically align and we have an hour to meet for lunch.  Social media!!!  We get to sit down for a minute or two while the kids are napping and contribute our part of the conversation to the thread and then move on to the next task we have on our list.  Then, when our friends have a minute or two while their kids are napping, they will see what we had to say and move on.  It’s great!

Kids and Social Media

Kids are great.  They are a lot of fun to be around when they decide they want to be fun.

So you and a friend have spent the entire month trying to plan a play date at the local park.  You’re ecstatic that everything actually worked out and then…your kid wakes up from her nap acting like an absolute demon.  Every parent who has actually parented their child knows exactly what I’m talking about.  It’s awful but you go to the park anyway hoping that her frown turns upside down.

Nope…

Obviously social media does not replace the experience of a face to face encounter but it sure does take away the stress!

Energy and Social Media

Ok listen ladies, when you have kids, there is nothing that I can think of that is as easy as it used to be.

The other day, I had to go to the bathroom.  There was not waiting.  So I closed all the bedroom doors and closed the gate effectively trapping my little girl in the hallway.  I left the bathroom door open though so that I could see and hear her.  That child insisted on trying to get at the knob that covers the toilet bolt.  And being the germ conscious parent that I am, I tried to divert her attention.  She lost it and started thrashing all over the bathroom!  WTF?!  So then, to keep her from smashing her head off of the ceramic floor and porcelain tub, I had to hold her on my lap.  She thrashed around and screamed bloody murder on my lap for the remainder of my bathroom experience.

There ya go…nothing is easy anymore.  It’s exhausting and the idea of having to plan a get together, dress yourself and the kids, pack the bags and the car, and then keep tabs on those kids while you are socializing…it’s EXHAUSTING!!

So again…social media.  All communication is from the comfort of your own home.  Not to mention, you can privately, or publicly like I just did, share the struggles of your everyday life with your friends!  Everyone will get a good laugh.

Funds and Social Media

Being a SAHM means that you are likely relying almost solely on the income your partner provides.  Sometimes that’s enough to provide you and your family a cushy lifestyle while sometimes it’s just enough to get by.  For my family, it’s more often than not, the latter.  We’ve gotten used to it and are ok with it because it means our kids are well taken care of and receive the individual attention that we feel they deserve.  I digress…

Being social in public often means spending some of your partner’s hard earned dough.  Going out to lunch, taking the kids to the movies, meeting up at Chuck E. Cheese, even meeting at the park can cost money if you’re not organized.  I know that there are times when I just don’t have enough time to pack lunches, drinks, and snacks so we swing by the drive thru at either McDonalds or Wendys on our way there.  Depending on how many kids you have, that can actually cost some big bucks.

With social media, the conversation is free.  No charge whatsoever.  This in turn means that instead of stressing about money on top of your first time mom date, schedules, cranky kids, and the lack of energy, you’re going to be at home in your yoga pants!