I feel like every committed couple is always looking for the secret that will “guarantee” a long, happy, and successful marriage. At weddings, there is always the anniversary dance and the last couple standing is asked to give the newlyweds advice for a happy marriage. I’ve listened to many renditions of that speech.
My husband and I have been married just over two years now, dated for five years prior to getting married, and were best friends for two years before we started dating. We have a pretty significant history for our young ages. That history holds a lot of experience that has brought us to where we are today. We are by no means a perfect couple but we are perfect for each other.
While there is absolutely nothing that can “guarantee” a long, happy, and successful marriage, I’d like to share with you our “secret weapon”.
The Secret Weapon of Our Marital Success
The secret weapon is “carefree fun.”
Getting to carefree
I’m going to start with “carefree” because this is an incredibly important part of any relationship. You need to be able to be yourself with your partner. Not just kind-of-yourself. I mean 100%, wholeheartedly yourself. Only when your partner accepts that version of you can you be carefree.
I can tell you exactly when I knew, without a doubt in my soul, that my husband was the right one for me. We had just arrived at the beach. We were exhausted from our long drive and subsequent work associated with unpacking. It was dark outside and I laid down on the bed. I don’t know how long he let this go on but I had absent mindedly started singing (very loudly) the words “It’s gonna rain” to an unrecognizable tune. He looked down at me with a smile, laughed, and said, “I love you so much.”
Right there…when you can let your guard down enough to let you inner self be free and your partner still loves you for it, that’s when you know you’ve mastered the “carefree” aspect of your relationship.
**Just a quick side note, you should reach this point before committing to marriage. Just saying…
The fun part
I honestly can’t think of a single aspect of adult life that is easy and marriage is no exception. You go through a “honeymoon phase” of your life when you think that everything is falling into place and that nothing will go wrong. And I promise, everything is falling into place. You just have to give it time. But I also promise that things will go wrong. Like, lots of things will go wrong and sometimes it will be terrible. But you’ll get through it together.
I consider my husband and I to be lucky because everything that has gone wrong, we’ve been ok despite of. I’m talking about everything from the police showing up on our wedding day to overdrawing our bank account (again) and everything in between.
Life is stressful, there’s no doubt about it. But, you have to make it fun. Otherwise, you’ll walk through your entire life like a tightly wound knot with a stick up your butt and wonder what the hell went wrong when you get to the end. Don’t do that!
Have fun in the small moments. When your favorite song comes on, jam out and dance like no one’s watching. If you guys aren’t talking after a fight, swallow your pride and start a tickle fight. When you don’t know what else to do, go out and play catch, make funny faces at each other, laugh at your inside jokes.
Have fun in the big moments, too. When you get your first apartment together, take as many selfies as you want. On your wedding day, have as much fun as you possibly can. Forget about all of your guests because they don’t matter. When you get your first “grown up” job, go out and celebrate, or stay in to celebrate if you’re broke and this job is your saving grace.
Do it all. Smile and laugh with each other. But do it together. Share those moments, both big and small, with your partner. When you can, document those moments. You will look back, not too long from now, and be amazed at how having fun made the difficult times in your life positive memories.
There is no real guarantee to a happy marriage. Your marriage is something that you have to give your all, all the time. But I can guarantee that if you allow yourself to have carefree fun with your partner, you will have few, if any, regrets along the way.